The children continue to let their guard down and say the most interesting things, apparently unaware — despite this being one of several installments in a series — that I’m lurking nearby, writing it all down.
“All this time I thought you wrote that song,” Sean, after hearing John Lennon’s “Beautiful Boy” on the radio. I frequently call both kids beautiful boy, much to their chagrin.
“John Lennon was shot to death by a fan? What kind of moron does that?” Duncan, after I told him about the former Beatle’s sad end.
“Are you called that because you pick corn in the winter?” Duncan, asking his pediatrician, Dr. Winterkorn, about her name.
“I’d rather dress up in red, like Darth Maul.” Sean, on why he doesn’t want to wear green to school for St. Patrick’s day.
Duncan: “Why do they call it a ballroom? I don’t see any balls in this room.”
What Sean said: “Duncan tried to break my breast bone!” What really happened: Duncan pointed toward Sean’s chest during an argument.
“Duncan bunny!” Sean’s latest pet name for Duncan. Duncan likes it as much as he liked being called cupcake, which is to say he didn’t like it at all.
“The food is better and they don’t tuck in their shirts.” Sean, explaining why he chose a different Boy Scout troop from the one all his friends went to.
Observation: If Duncan is going to lie and tell us he brushed his teeth, he probably shouldn’t leave a dry tooth brush behind as evidence that he lied.
“You need a new cell phone so you can get a husband.” Sean’s friend Nick, explaining to his single Mom why she should get an iPhone.
“They can be real idiots sometimes.” Duncan, telling a friend what he thinks of his parents’ decision to ban him and Sean from watching Mad TV. He didn’t realize that I was right behind him.
“Hahahaha! Stupid Uncle Bill.” Madison, the 3-year-old niece, after I called her stink-cake for the umpteenth time.
“Can I stab myself in the eyes now?” Sean, displeased that his cousin Madison is making him watch Strawberry Shortcake.
“All women are the enemy.” Sam Dalton, Duncan’s classmate, overheard at a birthday party. His indictment of females everywhere does not include Gabby, a classmate he and Duncan have had a crush on since kindergarten.
“They both like me, you know.” Gabby, telling me in a matter-of-fact tone that San and Duncan adore her.
Other posts in this series:
Things My Kids Say Part 1 https://billbrenner1970.wordpress.com/2010/10/21/things-my-kids-say/
Stuff My Kids Say, Part 2 https://billbrenner1970.wordpress.com/2010/10/26/stuff-my-kids-say-part-2/
Things Kids Say, Part 3 https://billbrenner1970.wordpress.com/2010/12/13/things-kids-say-part-3/
Stuff My Kids (and Niece) Say, Part 4 https://billbrenner1970.wordpress.com/2011/02/03/stuff-my-kids-and-niece-say-part-4/
Stuff My Kids (and Their Friends) Say, Part 5 https://billbrenner1970.wordpress.com/2011/04/18/stuff-my-kids-and-their-friends-say-part-5/
The Wit And Wisdom Of Duncan Brenner https://billbrenner1970.wordpress.com/2011/09/15/the-wit-and-wisdom-of-duncan-brenner/
Things Kids Say, February Vacation Edition https://billbrenner1970.wordpress.com/2012/02/24/things-kids-say-february-vacation-edition/