For a variety of reasons, I’m starting to wonder if it’s time to pull the pin on this grenade. There are good reasons to do so.
I started this blog to come clean about my demons and break all the stigmas attached to them. But I’m at the point where I’ve said about all I can say about it.
–The emotionally-scarring back story? Check.
–The story of how I used to be and how I got to where I am now? Check.
–The tools I use to keep addictions and depression at bay? You’ve read about it a million times.
–The adventures of living with OCD? Well, that is how this sucker got started.
Here’s the problem: No matter how good your intentions are, the more you keep writing about the past and the ticks you have as a result, the more you’re doomed to repeat all the mistakes and relive all the suffering. That’s what I worry will happen, anyway.
The other problem is that I’m in danger of being defined more by my demons than everything else. I’m in a better place than I used to be in, and I’ve learned and experienced a lot. But when you read a blog like this, it’s fair to wonder if I spend every waking moment obsessing about my disease and nothing else.
I don’t, actually. But I’ve formed an image to the contrary.
I’m not contemplating an end to personal blogging. I’m just thinking of tying a bow on this one, leaving it in cyberspace for people to read as needed, and start something else.
I want to be able to write about whatever I please without always having to tie it back into the OCD theme.
This blog was never just about that anyway.
This has been a blog about life, really: Learning to overcome all the challenges God throws at us. It’s been a much broader case study into human nature — mine and yours — than the title suggests.
I don’t intend to stop doing that. I’m just thinking of doing it differently.
It won’t happen overnight. But change is inevitable — as it should be.