Erin and I have been married for 13 years. We’ve been together for 18. I don’t know where the time goes, but as I sit here typing this I’m the luckiest — and most grateful — guy on the planet.
We celebrated Saturday and my mood spectrum that day symbolizes what she’s had to put up with quite accurately.
I was in a good enough mood in the morning and by afternoon I was in a funk. My planning for the day was scattered at best and I was overly defensive about what seemed like everything. It was the result of simply being tired, but my head has been in this space before.
We went to the Lowell Folk Festival and I was in a daze as we walked around. As she noted, I wasn’t present. I can’t remember what was in my head at the time but it had something to do with some selfish bullshit about what I wanted to do earlier in the day.
By dinner the mood started to brighten and at some point in the restaurant, I became present again. From there, we had a late night and it was a wonderful time.
That’s what happens when you’re able to make the bullshit in your head stop. Everything falls into place.
With all the years with OCD, my mood swings have been a constant presence, the dog that follows be everywhere, refusing to scram.
Fortunately, with a lot of treatment and help from God and the love of my life, the moods swing upward more than downward these days.
I owe that largely to Erin’s patience.
She could have thrown in the towel a long time ago and I wouldn’t have blamed her.
But she stayed and helped me, and I’m a better man for it.
The person she is makes me want to be better still.
No one can ever tell what the future holds, and that’s why it’s best to live life one day at a time. All I know right now is that I am blessed. Every day I thank God for the woman he sent into my life.
I hope she feels the same.
Happy Anniversary, My Love.