Some new readers came across my posts about eliminating flour and sugar as part of my recovery from a binge-eating addiction. The idea of eliminating these things for life is scary for some people. And who can blame them? It certainly scared the hell out of me once upon a time.
Only after I kicked it did I realize how evil a combo those ingredients were to me. I envy people who can handle the stuff. It’s just that I can’t.
But you know what? I’d much rather have the freedom, mental clarity and weight loss than flour and sugar now.
I want to share one of the comments, from “Lorie”, and see if I can address it at the end:
“Just found your website. Sorry, but it made me cry (joy and sorrow). Happy that I found someone who articulates my own feeling so well and sad that I’m so out of control. I’m a serious sugar binger. Just finished off the Christmas treats I made for our family to give to friends. I’ve gone sugar/flour-free 3 times in the past,. – 4 months, then 10 weeks, then 11 weeks. Following each period of abstinence, I tell myself I’ve got things under control now. I can just eat moderately like a normal person.
If I can go cold turkey, I should be able to handle moderation. That’s logical right? This last time I lost 50 lbs. Man! That felt SO good! I reached my lowest weight two months ago and then, still off flour and sugar, easily maintained it over the next month. Then I decided I was ready to add in a moderate amount of sugar. I’ve been on a binge ever since, up 13 lbs. now. Each day I see the scale go up and my heart sinks. What kind of a crazy person does this to themselves?
“Every day I start out saying I’m not going to eat sugar today. My anxiety builds to the point that I break and then the lies start. ‘I’ll just eat one piece.’ ‘I won’t eat the rest of the day.’ ‘One more day of sugar won’t matter, I’ll start tomorrow.’”
“I’ve been convinced that I have a physical addiction, like an alcoholic. But yesterday I had an epiphany. This is as much or more like OCD than alcoholism. There is some serious OCD in my family. Grandma was a level 5 hoarder, mom’s got OCD, brother’s got OCD. I’ve always said to myself, boy am I glad I don’t have OCD like them. Yesterday as my anxiety was building until it was released with copious amounts english toffee I made, I realized, “you idiot, this is classic OCD.” Anxiety/Compulsive Behavior/Anxiety diminishes.”
“I have a degree in psychology. How can I have gone for 35 years and not seen this? Now what? I still don’t know how to stop. Hence the tears of sorrow. I don’t know if I have the strength to give up the sugar and flour again because I realized if I’m going to conquer this, it means a lifetime of abstinence, right?”
“How do you do it?”
I can certainly feel your pain, Lorie. I’ve had all those same thoughts play through my head at one time or another. Obsessive-compulsive thoughts always fueled the desire to binge.
I can also understand how you feel about the idea of giving up something “for life.”
But in the final analysis, this is about making a life change. Sometimes we have to quit things we love for the rest of our lives in order to attain the quality of life that eludes us.
A diabetic has to give up a lot of ingredients for life.
A smoker who quits always misses the feeling of drawing smoke into their lungs. But they like that they can breathe again.
These choices can be hell. It’s also the kind of choice you need a doctor’s help to make. A doctor will always know better than me if you SHOULD give up certain things.
This program isn’t for everyone. But it IS for me.
It’s the only thing that ever worked.
I hope that helps you to some extent, Lorie. Keep fighting the good fight and you’ll eventually find long-term victory.
That’s my experience, anyway.
God Bless you.