The author on returning home.
Mood music for this post: “Home Sweet Home” by the Motley Crue:
There have been a lot of times in my life where I looked forward to coming home only to be sorry I was back minutes after getting there.
When I used to spend six-week stints in Children’s Hospital for the Crohn’s Disease, I would always think about home. I would think of the day I’d be released with great anticipation. It kept me going.
Then I’d come home and quickly be reminded that my parents’ marriage was burning at both ends and destined to fail. I’d be back to all the yelling, and I’d be back at school wondering how I would ever catch up to all the things I’d missed.
Before getting treated for OCD, I used to dream of home when I was on the road for business trips. Then I’d return and get overwhelmed with all the normal things that come with having a busy family.
Since I’d freak out over the trips themselves, I’d come home exhausted and the pressures of home would finish me off.
Today it’s much better.
I don’t freak out over the travel. When it’s time to do it, I just go, get the job done, enjoy the whole process and I come home. Once there, I’m tired but grateful to see Erin and the kids.
It’s no longer something I have to over-think. It’s nice to be able to enjoy the precious present.
Last night I got home from New York City and got the following greeting from Duncan:
“I missed you, Dad. But I didn’t miss you making my lunches for school!”
I love that kid.
Duncan and Sean gave me a good snuggle before bed, and when Erin came home we got to catch up before I passed out.
Since this was the second bit of travel in as many weeks (last week the whole family did the drive to DC and back) I expect to be fried for the weekend. And that’s OK. I’m grateful for the journeys I get to take for my job, and the return home is always worth it.
Don’t expect me to pass the time on the couch, though.
That’s not how I recover anymore. [More on that in Rest Re-defined]
Seize the day (even when exhausted)!